I am 30 and last night, for the first time in my life, I chopped up a jalapeño pepper. I was making black bean hummus. Yum; it turned out great.
I went to bed but woke up in the middle of the night. Nothing strange there, but it wasn't like I had to pee. Quite something else. I flipped on a light to see if my fingerprints were being filed off with a belt sander or being delicately sliced off with a razor blade. Most likely, I was in a serial killer's basement and all traces of my identity were carefully disappearing. Holy crap, my teeth were going to be next. The burning pain that was torching my fingertips was awful...
::confusion::
Effing jalapeño I chopped like an asshole!
The pain! I whined all day and I continue: they are still burning! I submerged my fingers in some sour cream for instant relief earlier but I couldn't exactly keep up the act at work. What's amazing: if I stick my fingers on my tongue I can taste the heat! Fascinating, but more of a pain in the ass.
4 comments:
One of the first time I chopped hot peppers I made the mistake of chopping onions afterward. Tears, wiping eyes and jalepeno infused fingertips make for an awful mixer.
one year i decide to grow jalepenos and was very succesful. I then decided to make some jalepeno poppers so I prepared more than 100 little burning suckers. Never did it enter my mind to wear gloves....My fingers burned for a week! I would wake up with burning eyes and face because every where I touched I left FIRE! I never grew those again...
I definitely did the same thing the first time I chopped a jalapeno. Now we keep a box of surgical gloves in the kitchen! It even happens to me with the fiercer sort of poblano sometimes, and since I have contact lenses that are constantly malfunctioning, I am ALWAYS touching my eyes. I've felt the burning on my eyeballs so much that I'm nearly able to relax into a state of philosophy, knowing it'll eventually go away. :( But seriously, the gloves make all the difference if you're going to do this on a regular basis!
Perhaps because my actual fingers never burn, I have had the misfortune of being very careless with my pepper-fingers. Sometimes it has to do with contact lenses, once it was after a romantic breakfast (yikes!). Still, I never wear gloves. I'm dumb.
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