Thursday, October 27, 2005

Cussing. Lots of cussing.

Something bizarre happened to me tonight.

I called a friend of mine that lives on Florida's east coast, nearly 30 or 40 miles north of my boyfriend. I'm investigating the gas station situation for him, as he is almost getting to the point where he needs to refuel his gas cans for his generator. It is rather crucial for him, seeing as he is sustaining a gigantic saltwater aquarium that needs to be chilled at a certain temperature, or his coral farm will...croak. Getting gas in West Palm Beach isn't really an option at this point, so I am finding alternatives for him. Good girlfriend props, anyone?!

Ok. I left a message on my friend's machine. No sooner than I left her a message, did my land line ring. I hardly ever (read: never) answer my land line because the only people that know the number are inmates from the county jail. You say weird, I say Florida. But my friend does know this number, so I assumed that she was calling me back on the land line, even though I originally called her from my cell.

This is what happened:

Me: Hello?

Woman: Yeah. Who this?

Me: Um. Margaret? Who's this? (That's my real name. So much for secrets in blog world.)

Woman: None of your business. Now stop calling my house.

Me: ??? I have never called your house.

Woman: You KEEP CALLING MY HOUSE. Now stop.

Me: Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.

Woman: Muthafucka you bettah stop calling my fucking house bitch!

Me: Bbbb

Woman: BITCH FUCK YOU OH YEAH I'LL KICK YOUR ASS MOTHERFUCKER NO. STOP CALLING MY HOUSE.

Me: Iiiiii

Woman: FUCK OFF YOU CUNT STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU MUTHAFUCKA! MUTHAFUCKA I WILL KICK YO ASS.FUCK OFF YOU CUNT STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU MUTHAFUCKA! MUTHAFUCKA I WILL KICK YO ASS.FUCK OFF YOU CUNT STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU MUTHAFUCKA! MUTHAFUCKA I WILL KICK YO ASS.FUCK OFF YOU CUNT STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU MUTHAFUCKA! MUTHAFUCKA I WILL KICK YO ASS.FUCK OFF YOU CUNT STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU MUTHAFUCKA! MUTHAFUCKA I WILL KICK YO ASS.FUCK OFF YOU CUNT STOP FUCKING CALLING YOU MUTHAFUCKA! MUTHAFUCKA I WILL KICK YO ASS.

Me: Are you retarded?

(But she was yelling so loud, she didn't hear me...even though, I admit, what I said was pretty lame.)

That's when I hung up, because my FRIEND was calling me back on my cell phone.

And I was a little shaken up. I realize I should have hung up long before I did.

I secretly hope she calls me back, but so far, she hasn't.

P.S. maybe, just maybe, there's gas in Vero Beach.

8 comments:

madge said...

Crazy. Right? She was just crazy? Tell me she's not serious. Gulp.

Anonymous said...

plenty of gas in Orlando, probably not in melbourne or cocoa they got hit pretty hard. Take the turnpike all the way to Orlando there are rioting in Fort drum and turkey creek get off at I4 and take it to sr 50 then east or go up I95 all the way to sr 50 and go west. I wouldn't try 520 because of possible flooding along the river.
Hope this helps.

madge said...

barryg, you rule. Seriously. You rule. My boyfriend was hoping to avoid going as far as Orlando (he used to live there, + we are both familiar with the 520, so thanks for the tip)...but perhaps it will have to come to that.

I'm not kidding. I'll say it again. You RULE! Thank you.

Meghan said...

wow, that woman sounds crazy... or irish. i'm not sure which.

i'm still fencing the concert issue, but leaning towards not going. mainly because i don't have the $50 i'd have to fork over to Greyhound to get up to Eugene and back. i've got better things to spend my moneys on... like laundry... and halloween costumes... and yeah.

alright, i'm going to bed, and it's 10 pm. with a bit of luck, i'll be sleeping by midnight! woohoo! Cheers!

---MB

ubtbatm- what that annoying kid from my Criminology class would say if i were to unleash the Meghan Death Stare upon her, as i seem to want to do more and more with every class.... gah

FRITZ said...

1. You are a great girlfriend...and you'll have to keep us posted on the coral. I always mourn dying coral.

2. What the HELL is going on with Gas? Is it the end of the world, or something?

3. This woman was really funny to read. And Margaret, I never knew you did your mom so much. That's wierd. Oh, you know, if I hadn't been named Elizabeth Anne, I would have been named Margaret Elizabeth.

madge said...

Meghan: Now that you mention Greyhound...

Well, I'm still hoping you go. You'd be leaving tonight, yes?

Fritz: My boyfriend was able to get gas, so that his coral farm will be surviving - at least this week. Look, I told you not to say anything about me sleeping with my mom?! And - my little sister is Anne. We have no Elizabeths in the family, though. I was almost named Amanda, but a cousin of my mom's in Alaska gave birth to an Amanda a week or so before me, so the name was scrapped and my dad chose Margaret. The Alaskan Amanda went to Harvard, and so I'm certain I would have been referred to as the "dumb Amanda."

FICS23 said...

Madge! you are so lucky you missed this one... Consider me one of the extreme lucky ones. Here in west broward, the lines are underground so i was without power for only 4 days. The rest of south florida is going to have to endure till nov22. Three weeks! gas lines are LONnnG , but its getting better everyday. Hope your bfriends doing alright. I posted some pics of the damage around the area in my blog, No, not like your picture of your "DAMAGE" i mean real ones. :P . Bye.

Spinning Girl said...

crazy = scary.