I will be in graduate-student hibernation this weekend, writing papers and scratching out my eyeballs, respectively. It wasn't supposed to be a weekend like this, but all of these papers and assignments caught up with me and now I have no choice but to devote another forty-eight hours to everything I wish I could put off. I would have loved to hop a plane to West Palm Beach, spent the weekend with my boyfriend, and watched a long list of beatflicks with him and the pets. But alas, I've surrendered to "goodie Madge;" this is the Madge that gets things done on time. I totally hate her. But I can't seem to shake her. She actually lives in the muscles of my neck and shoulders. So I know when she's around and when she means business because she takes her little hands and crinks my muscles in about forty-three different places. "Are you stressed now, bitch?" she persistently twists. There is no relief from her torture.
Before I refrain from blogging come the next two days (yeaaah right), I am compelled to tell the world that I was a subpar, horrible, rotten, no-good girlfriend this afternoon. My boyfriend had a subpar, horrible, rotten, no-good day. He called me at his lowest and all he said was "I wish you were here." I was caught off guard a little and started asking him an arsenal of annoying questions to find out why he was upset. But my questions made him more upset, because, honestly, they were very annoying questions. After we hung up, I looked at my cell phone and said, "can't you to turn into a time machine, you piece of Nokia shit?" But that wasn't happening. Maybe because I called it a piece of shit. Regardless, what I wouldn't give to get that phonecall again and be a better girlfriend about it. Sometimes I wonder where the hell I came from. Planet of Extremely Bad Girlfriend When in Crisis Mode? Then I get all freaking maternal and think, what if I can't comfort a child of mine when they need me? What if I ask them stupid questions when they just want to do the talking and have the fit? At this point, I can't even comfort the love of my life. Ugh. Ouch. Goodie Madge just went like this: "Sharp! Pain! Sharper! Pain! Sharpest! Pain!"
Now off to things that really matter, like the legacies of dead white men.
Have a good weekend all.
5 comments:
Girlfriend behavior is wierd for all of us. When your boyfriend's twin (my boyfriend) has a hard day, I sit there and give him worthless advice, and he's always saying, "Uh huh." and "Yeah, I know." I then realize I just need to listen and make some encouraging noises..."Oh, dear." "Hmmm". "Uh huh."
Nookie always helps, I've discovered.
Give him a call and tell him you miss him. That might help.
Planet of Extremely Bad Girlfriend When in Crisis Mode?
I'm from the Planet of Bad Wives. I just get all weirdly quiet and for a person as chatty as my spouse (aka Calzone), it freaks him the hell out.
Nookie! LOL. Cures all ills.
I think she misses him too. She wouldn't spend time trying to talk to him and find out where he is. She doesn't have another way to reach him. Any suggestions?
Fritz and Monkey's Human(!),
Thank you for the advice and blogmiseration. :) Things have all patched up.
Anonymous! Well, ?
i hate when i have bad timing like that. i'll pick the worst time for my temper or irritation to flare up at my boyfriend - poor guy. hope your weekend and papers and stuffy old white men wemt well!
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