- For say, the past six-seven years, I've had earwax issues with my right ear. Basically, to be blunt, I have so much earwax in that damn ear that it builds up and the canal becomes completely plugged. Fact: it is during this completely-plugged misery of mine that unsexy noises, like my own chewing, reverse echo and thud, thud, thud into my head.
- Why is earwax likened to potatoes or potato fields or whatever? I have never been able to wrap my brain around that one. Earwax and potatoes? Seriously, earwax and potatoes?
- So I have to get my ear unclogged by a health professional, right? It gets flushed out with a very basic technology (hose) that I wish upon wish I could perform by myself, in my bathroom. There is nothing more embarrassing than having your ear cleaned out when you're an adult. You *might* get the potato analogy, but you can certainly count on the Q-Tip lecture. I'm fucking sorry, but I can't clean my ears with a towel wrapped around my index finger. Yes, thanks for the demo, but move along! That shit is too big to fit into my ear.
- I had a friend once named BatShitCrazyErin. She had an obsession for ear candles...a.k.a tubes you light on fire and stick in your ears that supposedly work like vacuums to extract earwax. I tried it once with her. How did this not seem like a bad idea at the time?
- Tonight, for some relief (I originally hoped), I boiled a pot of water and held my head over it. The idea was that I would cover my head with a towel and trap steam in a tiny little space that would magically tunnel its way into my ear and unglue it. I am not a genius. I'll make that clear right now. I am an idiot. In a not-so-swift maneuver, my neck grazed this pot of boiling water.
- FUCKIN' A!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
my right ear sucks, by madge (who else?)
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10 comments:
We're having the same issues over here. My man is sick and went to the walk-in yesterday. The doc checked his ears and told him she's never seen so much wax in a person's ear in her life. So I suggested he ask my mom to candle it for him. She's a naturopath. I myself, refuse to try it. And I hate accupuncture too. Whoever said that it doesn't hurt is a maniac. But I digress. Go candle your ears. I hear it works. ha. ha.
ear candles.... very popular in Eugene. and do you really trust anything that's popular in Eugene? :p
---MB
ps. grape jelly and cheese? EEW! no!! i like it on toast. or sandwiches.
A) When I was little, the doctor had to flush a big clump of earwax out of my ear and, seriously, to a 5 yr old, it looked like a mini-potato.
B) Have you tried those over-the-counter flushing systems where you basically fill a ball with warm water and spurt it into your ear? I think you get drops, too, which loosen it or something. Just an idea...
I'm sorry, I must shamefully admit that I laughed at this post.
FUCKIN A.
This post makes me love you even more than I did before.
i have to admit that i have ear candled before. a few times.
and then i've opened up the stubs that you end up with and have found a shit-ton of orange "wax." i can't decide if it's from the candle, or from my ear. but i will say that it's a crazy whack orange color that doesn't resemble normal candle wax in the least.
i'll candle you, baby. yeaaa.
First off, they don't sell ear candles at Whole Foods any more 'cause they say they are bad for you. Supposedly they take out to much wax? I don't know that is what they told me. It does work however, one Thanksgiving at my aunts house everyone had an ear candle party. I didn't do it. Fire so close to my hair. I don't think so.
Second, I have been told that a vinegar and alcohol solution works well for ear wax. I don't know the ratio. Vinegar is supposed to loosen the wax, and you want alcohol so that is will evaporate pretty quickly. I bet you could find a recipe on the interweb!
Try baby oil, it loosens the earwax. This is what my hearing science professor told us all to do. She emphasized NO Q-tips!!!
It also works to get bugs out of your ear if they ever happen to get in (which is potentially emergency room material if you do not have baby oil).
I used peroxide-just a couple drops. It feels strange and the bubbles make a lot of noise. I think my grandma is the one who told me about it one summer that I got an ear infection from someone's nasty pool. I never heard of ear candles before....sounds traumatizing. poor you
This was informative and strangely alluring.
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