I had a mad crush on Robert Stack's voice during my youth. I would act out entire Madge-written episodes of Unsolved Mysteries in front of the bathroom mirror. I could entertain myself for hours. Hours. I was always doing a particular skit about a man who would give his girlfriends hair dryers for birthday presents, and when they would turn them on, boy, were they in for a surprise. These hairdryers were actually guns. And the girlfriends blew their heads off.
But only sometimes, of course.
Some lived to tell about it in extra-long episodes.
"Y'all he was so nice to me."
A couple of times, I did the whole UPDATE! bit. We found the guy. He was living in a trailer park with cats and a pitbull. And he had a lot of hairdryers in his trailer. A suspicious amount of hairdryers. Also, lots of Con Air boxes in the trash. The neighbors thought it was strange that he would have that many Con Air boxes in the trash. So naturally, they called the authorities. One cop said, "Con Air? I mean, he's a con. It just works out right."
(I was a complete freak. Was.)
3 comments:
oh, madgie, one never truly outgrows their freakiness. ;) that's what i love about you! my brother and i used to watch unsolved mysteries, but we would (instead of falling in love w/ robert stack's voice), be completely freaked out by it in combination w/ that wacky music. we'd scare each other and end up turning it off or hiding under covers watching it, waiting, wondering what was going to happen... we were freaks. you know, "were."
(also, can i say that i would LOVE to watch your episode? not as a child, of course, that would freak me out.)
mybnet: my bonnet!
Yes! The music was wacky, wasn't it? Wacky in a good way.
Holy mackeral. I'm with cole train. Blue Cole Train.
that makes my episodes of naked sun worship as a twelve year old PALE in comparison to your imagination.
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