There are things on my mind; lots of things: heavy, heavy, heavy-sigh things.
Whenever I am around family, which is hardly ever seeing as I live so far away from them, I am so overjoyed with their company and then, when they leave, or I leave, I get the mean reds. I was in China (via Epcot) yesterday and studied the characteristics of those born in the year of the Ram, as there were Year of the Ram postcards for purchase in China's giftshop. I noticed that Rams "are most complete when they are among family." To myself, I shrieked. Inwardly. I loved how that was communicated. It is far different from "family is the most important." It is exactly how I am.
I hurt my tailbone in Norway. F*ing Maelstrom!
Tonight, in class, I toured the cataloging + special collections portions of the university library. I was told, verbatim, "if you do not like cats or crosswords, this job isn't for you."
Great. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with my life?! Suggestions, please.
Maybe I'm so blah because it has been raining all afternoon + evening. Traffic was shitty. I woke up to the sound of condo development and I plotted all sorts of ways to spray paint -fuck off you gentrifying assholes- on the real estate sign. It will never come to pass, so even in my thoughts, I wasn't that excited about my deviancy.
And, with that, I think I'll head to other things tonight.
Hope your Halloweens were defrightful.
14 comments:
Wow! I counted 1, 2... at least 3 f-bombs from our little ducky! You GO, girlypal!
I love my family so much, I moved back from NH because they were too far. I couldn't bear it. Especially my twin. Last year she had a blood clot and could have dropped dead; since then we talk almost daily, as with our other sister as well. Listen to that voice and pay attention; make connections with your family regularly, even if you are far from them. Close the gap! That is Spinning Girl's advice and yeah, maybe I am shading it with my own experience, but it sounds like it might be important for you as well.
As for the job, well...do what you love, or find something to love in what you do.
You only have this one life to live, after all.
Not to milk the nostalgia, but I think that in these moments the heart speaks the truth and you must listen.
Now go make some tea and put your feet up!
I heart you, stranger though you may be.
And then, because I had to take out the trash, I just heard my downstairs neighbors climaxing in unison.
Blaalkjlkjkjljlkjrh.
Spinning Girl, smoking the pipe of wisdom...
Thank you for your advice. And thank you for sharing pieces of your story. I am the middle of three sisters - I couldn't imagine life without them. Ack - to think of that sort of thing immediately creates a dam of gwahaahh in my throat.
Closing the gap. Closing the gap.
I love that you told me to make tea. As a matter of fact, my older sister, who is somewhere flying above the U.S., left behind her herbal lemon tea. Mmmmm. Off I go, for real this time.
You're the best.
ok, what do cats and crosswords have to do with spreading one's love of literature? so confused!
as for your neighbours climaxing in unison... my appy wolly logies for your having to listen to that. sounds no fun. thankfully i have no neighbours, so don't have to worry about that.
however, if you decide that your hate for cats and crosswords should deter your goal of being the greatest librarian ever, i'd suggest being a columnist. that way, even more people can enjoy your rants. so fun to read!
i believe i shall go take a shower... my roomie is listening to country. cheers!
---MB
sfvrjk- San Francisco Varsity Joking. fuck if i know what that means. ooh! wait- i do! there's a team @ UC San Fran that made a sport of Joking, and apparently there's a varsity team. yeah. ok.
Did I just see you call Calzone a "motherfucking panther" over at his site? Wow! Unleash the Madgster and all sorts of things come out! You GOOOOOOOOOOO!
I love my family. I really truly do. I must be, however, the only soul in America who is ok with the idea of living a gazillion miles from them. Growing up we never hung out as friends. We never all sat around and watched the same sporting event and rooted for the same team. My family moved away from my extended family when I was but a wee tot. I barely knew my grandparents. At my cousins' weddings, I had to be introduced to some of my cousins, cousins-in-law, and cousins once removed.
But I love them. I would hurt dearly if anything ever happened to them. I just guess ours is more of a telephone/thanksgiving/christmas love.
As for the neighbors....I say good for them. I hope they do it every night and get lots of sex from each other. there's no reason to be mad at them for expressing their passion. WOuld you want to be bridled when you and your man make love? Would you want some sex police waiting in the bedroom with a gag because your lover made you so overwhelmed with passion/emotion that you couldn't help but scream out? You should be proud that he actually got her off. Though, I do completely understand that it totally sucks when your love is far away and you can't be with him/her.
Look, I mention climaxing neighbors and all of a sudden I'm the no-sex police!
Sigh.
Family and wholeness are a good combination.
All right, dear.
Librarians are some of the coolest people around. And I also feel that I am cool. And I like cats and crosswords.
Fall asleep in stacks. That will be the most comfort you can get from a library during these dreary days.
I'm sorry you miss your family. That is difficult to go through, I know.
You are in my thoughts.
hm, i wouldn't want to hear climaxing neighbors in a mood of irritation. it's all context, really. OR, the types of neighbors you have.
MY neighbors? oh. good. GAWD. *shudder* creepy, creepy woman. i think she's totally medicated, 24-7.
and madge, no one can tell you what you should like in your profession. no one. you need me to break me some legs? 'cause i can do that. fo'sho.' look at me rambling on when i should be in bed. not to mention that you'd be super trite and stereotypical if you were a librarian who liked cats and crosswords. screw the stereotype! you're a hiking, sexy kind of librarian! wear heels (if you want) and fishnets (if you want)!
continuing onward! i, too, am a ram. and love my family. i want to move up north, but would hate being so far from them - they live 2 hrs south of here. don't you hate decisions and choices, sometimes?
definitely be the librarian in fishnets. that'd be fucking hilarious! "Uncle Tom's Cabin" would be the least of the PTA's worries! :D cheers!
---MB
pjeqmqcv- the name of those pajamas that have the zipper up the one leg and go over the whole body... remember those from being a kid? damn how i hated them
E. Fritz: Yes! I know you are cool. I think you'd be a fabulous librarian, too. I wish-wish-wish that I could be a crossword wiz. Alas, I am a wiz at the JUMBLE game. Give me any jumbled word and usually, I will have it unscrambled in a matter of moments. I understand this is a talent that those of us no good at crosswords usually kick bootie at. Kind of like the algebra/geometry thing. Okay. I do like cats, too. I have one!!! He speaks French! But I do like dogs better. It is so awful to admit preference in the animal kingdom. Thank you for thinking of me!!
Kimberlina: I too wouldn't want to hear your medicated neighbor climax. Eeegads! My neighbors were very Serengeti Plain about everything. Serengeti Plain meets colonial safari, if ya know what I'm saying.
Thank you for getting my back. I refuse to be the stereotype. I am getting ready to ween myself from my pointy toe flat obsession and go back to heels - which I used to strut in for 8 hours at a time...
And what's more, I agree...decisions and choices can be real pills. Amen, sister.
Meghan!!! Three exclamations for you. But those pajamas are soooo freaking cute. My younger sister lived in those during her infancy + toddler days and I wanted to gobble her up because I thought she was so damn adorable. They (ll bean) actually make them for adults. My older sis was very keen on them for a time. They were fleece - tres Oregon hippie.
The only part of my family that I miss is my brother, his wife and their two kids. Whenever we visit, I am sad that we don't live closer. We have such an incredible time together.
My brother and I were born 3 years apart on the same day. We communicate in the same way that twins do. Our spouses get along, our kids get along... it breaks my heart that we don't live closer. But I will not, cannot move to Florida.
Besides, the rest of the family lives there too, and I do not heart them. Well... I heart them, but I don't like them. How's that?
Hope your tailbone feels better. Get one of those squishy cushions with the tail bone hole.
epcot center? let's see....it's only an 8 hour drive (which means i can do it in 7)....forget the road trip to see family in kc this thanksgiving- i wanna go to disneyworld!
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