Before you throw away a crusty, rusty sponge, first, ask its rightful owner. Always.*

Warning: I cannot claim authorship for what follows this purplish-colored Georgian font. One of my co-workers, can, however. I'm a little concerned about her mental health. And the fact that she doesn't like it when people water down her soap. Please enjoy this cut and pasted e-mail, and the next time you think you're working with fuckin' weirdos, you can think to yourself, "No, no, that Madge girl has it far worse than me." And then you will silently mouth a "thank you" up to the heavens, and get on with your day.

*Zero edits have been made to protect the stupid.

My brush that I use for cleaning my straw that goes with my water container is missing. The sponges, dish detergent, 2 dish cleaning wands for water and detergent, and brushes in the third floor break room are not school property. I have been providing these cleaning products since I moved to the third floor. This is the second straw cleaning brush missing and someone also sometimes waters down my soap. I usually keep spare sponges and sponges for the cleaning wands under the sink. Sometimes people will throw away my sponge before I bring a replacement. I don’t mind sharing these products, but the brushes are not cheap and this is not the first time one is missing. It may have been thrown away. The brushes are all rusty either on the metal parts or rust covers the bristles as our water has a high rust content. I don’t mind sharing these materials, but I do mind replacing something that was there one day and still good and comes up missing. I have replaced the missing straw brush as it hasn’t shown up since last Wednesday. I waited until today so I wouldn’t be angry when I sent this message.

Thank you and have a great day.